I Cried for you today.....

I cried for you today.....
     unable to tell me what was wrong
        stomping your feet
           screaming as loud as you can
Yet....
     you are left with no words....only PAIN
        I see the frustration and anger in your eyes
          and then.....

I cried for me.....
     spending 5 years as a detective
        holding on to every sound you make
           believing one day you will speak to me

The neverending frustration of figuring out
     your every want and need
        I feel so helpless
            and then.....

I cried for your brother....
     who desperately wants to play with you
        who tries to be such a great brother
           who is so proud of all your accomplishments
He tells me he hopes your first word is OIL CHANGE
     I begin to laugh
         and then.....

I cried for your dad.....
     who had so many hopes and dreams of you playing sports
        family vacations, dating, and getting married..
           and then.....

I cried for our whole family.....
     who has been to hell and back with
        doctors, seizures, supplements, sleepless nights, and allergies

But then I stop crying.....
    I start believing and hoping and fighting.....
      I start remembering.....

      The first time David said Mom
           when he waved for the first time
                when he slept through the night for 3 nights in a row
                      when I hugged him and he hugged me back
                            the list goes on and it will continue to grow....

I realized...it's OK to break down and cry
     as long as you get back up
         and keep on believing
              and keep on laughing
                  and keep on appreciating the small things.....